Life - its messy and its hard, it doesn't always make sense and at times it feels like everything is going to fall apart. If you look up life in the dictionary it means "the ability to grow and change, the very thing that separates plants and animals from other things like water and rocks". It is the ability to grow that makes you alive. Have you ever thought about the fact that there is a reason you are alive right now, at this moment, in this generation, it was for such a time as this that you where created.
While life is messy and hard it is also so very beautiful. There is so much this world has to offer, even in the midst of the chaos around us, we can still find so much beauty. It got me thinking a lot about how much can change in the matter of moments. It seems like in the blink of an eye everything can change.
Thinking about the beauty that can come out of the chaos of our lives, had me thinking about how I saw the goodness of God in the moments of complete chaos in my life. I recently celebrated my anniversary of being cancer free and it got me thinking about the days after I had surgery while I was still in the hospital. I remember one day while I was alone in my hospital room setting in bed frustrated, in pain, and if I'm honest feeling sorry for myself.
I felt like God was asking me why I was ignoring Him. Something to know about me, is that I talk to God through worship, whether it be through music or writing. Its how I communicate what's on my heart when the words don't want to come. Leading up to my surgery I had stopped listening to worship music, stopped singing and even had a hard time writing. I was basically cutting myself off and bottling everything up inside.
In that moment I felt dejected and a lot like a little kid being scolded by their parents. I realized that was exactly what I was doing, grabbing my phone I began scrolling through my youtube and I clicked on the first worship song I saw. As I listened to the words of the song I couldn't help but cry. I'll never forget the moment I first heard the bridge, I was a wreck. It goes - "lead me to you, forever Lord, I will pursue, I will pursue. You've won my heart, Jesus, you're all that I want, all that I want". Those words became my fervent prayer.
As I listened to this song I was once again reminded of all the beauty I have seen throughout my life, even within the moments of chaos I saw so much beauty. Your challenge this week is to take some time to look for the beauty within the chaos of life. I know it can be hard, but just know it is so worth it in the end.
You have a God-given uniqueness!
- Alianna C.