I was lost ... but God

Hi friend! Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend and suddenly it was like my mind was teleported back in time seven years. The memories that began to overflow left me in tears as I began to tell a piece of my story. Let's set the scene, I'm sixteen and preparing to go on my first international missions trip. I had spent the last several months raising money to pay for the trip and attending meetings preparing my heart and mind to serve and show God's love to people I didn't know in a place I had never been. I was so excited!

Then in the midst of that excitement and expectation, I found a lump in my leg and instantly knew something wasn't right. Since I was about to travel internationally my parents and I knew it would be best to have things checked out. I'll never forget walking into the doctors office the same day I was set to fly out of country and receiving the news that I had a tumor. I felt lost, but I listened to God and I still went.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5, ESV).

I was scared, but I chose to go and do what God called me to do. When I got back two weeks later I found myself getting tests and biopsies done, before receiving the news that I had cancer. Here I was at sixteen, finding out I had cancer. I felt lost and broken, but God.

I was scared and hurting, but I held on to hope and my faith that my God had called me and given me a dream. I'll never forget looking at my parents and telling them, "Don't worry, God's got this". I was lost... but God.

A passage that kept me encouraged through it all was 1 Peter 2:9,

"But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light" (1 Peter 2:9, NLT).

In the midst of feeling lost and a little broken, the goodness of God was on full display. Isn't it amazing how all it takes is something as small as a single word or phrase to bring memories rushing back?!

That conversation with my friend, took me back to that season of darkness. The incredible thing though is that it didn't remind me of the dark it highlighted the presence of God that was there through it all. As I remember the journey, I found myself undone by the overwhelming picture of the goodness of God chasing after me the entire time. I was lost... but God!

Many people would look at that season and see darkness, but when I look at it all I see is the goodness of God. I see favor and grace, I see a girl full of insecurities given courage and strength from the faithfulness of God. It was a dark season, that's for sure and it was hard. On more occasions then I can count I found myself lost and feeling completely alone and forgotten, but God saw me in those moments and He held me up through the people He has placed around me.

I was broken... but God picked up my broken pieces and made me brand new.

We all go through moments when we feel like the world is crashing down all around us, but be encouraged. Our God is right there with us. I was lost, but God! He is faithful and He will continue to be.

I love this reminder from scripture:

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).

I don't know what it is that you're walking through or what the season will hold, but the one thing that I do know is that God is right there with you. You have been made a new creation in Christ. Maybe like me, you were lost... but God! How incredible it is to be known and loved by our Creator!

Let's face it friend, we're all lost at some point. The important thing is that we don't stay lost. What a God! He picks us up and makes us new.

Much love friends,

Alianna